Ditching the “have to do” by saying NO!

by Emma Hammond 0 comments

Fitness goals Habits Mindset

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As i was feeling a little overwhelmed with all the things ” I have to do” today, I contemplated skipping my workout out of guilt. I started listing off all of the things, people & outside obligations I “should” put before myself & for a brief moment felt like I came at the bottom of that totem pole. I’d get around to my workout (my physical & mental “me” time) after I took care of everyone else. Only IF I had anything left for myself.saying-yes
Just typing that out sounds pretty crazy right? Laundry comes before my health, physical well being & mental focus?…
 
Hmmm. Yet we all do this every single day! A lot of the problem starts with how often we say YES to everything that comes our way:
~ Yes, I’ll go to this social gathering I really would rather skip.
~ Yes, I’ll take on this extra project or client at work.
~ Yes, I’ll sign up & train for a race I really don’t want to run.
 
Now don’t get me wrong, doing things for others is important. We SHOULD give back & do things outside of ourselves. I think it gives more meaning to all that we do when life isn’t consumed with our own needs. BUT in order to do so we have to take care of us FIRST. I know I’m a better wife, friend & coach when I say no to another hour of TV & get some sleep. Or when I say I can’t make that post-work happy hour because I want to spend my time reading a business book & unwinding after a busy day.

time-management
I took the time a while back writing down exactly how I spend my week. I constantly find myself saying I don’t have time & can’t get anything done I need to in order to do what I WANT to. And I mean a scary detailed breakdown:
___ hrs watching tv
___ hrs on facebook
___ hrs working (broken down into different aspects
___ working out
___ sleeping
___ reading
___ relaxation
___ relationship
___ dog time
___ household chores
___ errands
___ social activities
 
& so on. What I found was a LOT of my hours were being wasted on things I didn’t enjoy, didn’t empower me, weren’t my strengths & obligations I should have said NO to. I then wrote down aspects of my life I wanted to focus more on because I was awesome at them or they furthered my goals or fired up my passion.
 
A business example? I LOVE coaching, working with clients & even continuing my own education. Areas I DON’T love or excel at? Finance, web design & spreadsheets. So guess what? I’m not doing that mess. I spend my time & energy on the areas I contribute to & have delegated the rest. Yes, I am fortunate I can do so in this situation but it also means saying NO to other areas. I am skipping my 2x a day coffee habit so I can afford to pay someone to take over those areas. I can’t have it all but saying no to one thing opened up a big yes to another.
 
This can absolutely be applied to people, which I think is the hardest NO. We all have or have had those people in our lives that suck out a lot of time & energy without giving us much in return. Harsh? Maybe but life is short. We only have so many hours in the day, energy & mental focus to give. Taking time to evaluate if you are giving it to people that are worthy of that valuable time & resource. Sometimes that means cutting negative people out of your life or minimizing the allotted energy given towards them. But what about all the other people, projects & gifts that energy could be given to. Including yourself! self-care-cup
The most valuable lesson I have learned in the past few years is that I want to be 100% in everything I do! When I am training a client I want to be present, energized & my best self. When I am with my husband, I want my phone off. Which may mean not responding immediately to a clients texts. Or saying NO to a weekend work event because our time together is equally as important.
In smaller situations it means stop saying I “don’t have time” to read, workout or cook a meal when I watch 2 hours of house hunters a night. BE HONEST! It’s not to be harsh & say we can’t have downtime to truly relax. But are you spending that time truly relaxing or 1/2 on the computer, phone & tv blaring. Therefore not accomplishing anything.
Long Rant Take Aways:
~ Think before you say YES or MAYBE, decide if that is truly where you should spend your valuable time.
~ HAVE BOUNDARIES! It is not selfish to say NO I can’t come in early 3 days a week because that’s my workout time. Define those non-negotiable self care needs & let nothing stand in the way.
~ Evaluate how you honestly spend your time. You will get much more done if you focus on one task, do it & move on.
~ Over time delegate or find more efficient ways to do tasks you don’t excel at or drive you. Re-organize your day where most of it is spent in ways that empower you.
~ BE PRESENT! :)
What’s one way you can re-organize “not having time” to better spending your time?
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